The interview I had with my dad (David Price) gave me a great look into the mind of someone who has had some experience when it comes to living out what it looks like to be a gentleman. The discussion revolved around how important it is for a gentleman (or anyone else for that matter) to watch their words even while joking. I include the part of 'even when joking’ because I think that is such a big part of it. We often forget how easily our words can hurt someone. I came at this topic with Ephesians 4:29 and Ephesians 5:4 in mind. Ephesians 4:29, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only what is fit for building up, as it fits that occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” ONLY what is fit for building up. In other words, the only words that should come out of our mouths are words to encourage and strengthen and equip. This obviously doesn’t only apply to young gentlemen in training but to ALL people.
What about when it comes to joking? As guys especially, we tease and joke with one another and, as my dad pointed out, it can actually bring people closer, but there are many times when it doesn’t. How many times can you think of when what you thought was a joke ended up becoming the start of a fight? Or maybe when you took seriously something someone else said in a joking manner and it ended up putting a gap there? It probably happens more times than you think. My dad made the observation that, “in every relationship we engage in, our words have the potential to build up and make that a strong, lasting relationship or it has the ability to end it quickly.” As we just discussed, ‘joking’ can easily have a negative affect and tear it down. In my follow up, I asked him when joking was appropriate and this was his response, “When I use my words to joke and jest, I’m using my words in a dangerous way...If my intention is to build you up, I’m probably not going to spend too much time joking with you.”
Even when we aren’t joking we can easily hurt someone. My dad explains one of the most common reasons for this: “We live in a world where we say what we think and sometimes we don’t care what they think, but that’s the way broken relationships happen, so I think it’s very important how we watch our words.” The key is that sometimes we are flippant, which was a point my father had previously pointed out, and it all ties together. Generally speaking, bad things happen when we just say what we think. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us what we should do: "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.” The first part is talking about defending the attacks of Satan’s followers, but what does the second part (“and take every thought captive to obey Christ”) mean for us? It quite literally means what it says but the Reformation Study Bible tells us what this looks like: "If every thought, then the whole person—our every idea, motive, desire, and decision—belongs to Christ.” Every part of us is going to belong to Christ and reflect Christ because what we do is based on our thoughts. Naturally, this would imply the tongue would be controlled by Christ, too. The tongue is such an important thing to control because, as James tells us, "If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who is also able to control his own body” (James 3:2 HCSB). I HIGHLY recommend James 3 as it goes into great detail explaining how dangerous the tongue is. If Paul is saying we need to take every thought captive, which means our whole body should be controlled by Christ, and James is saying if someone can control their whole tongue they can control their whole body, what should we do? I would suggest praying to God that He helps us control our tongue and what we say.
What is the consequence if we don’t? Jesus answers this in Mathew 12:36, " I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.” Every. Careless. Word. This is not just important for a gentleman, but for everyone. We need to not only watch how much we joke, but also how we speak to people in our everyday lives. As my dad said, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can break a heart.”
I really enjoyed interviewing my father (David Price) and I will be interviewing more people as this series (Becoming a Gentleman in the 21st Century) continues. Hopefully, my interviewing skills will improve as I go along and you will understand why when you listen to it. However, it is not to focus on me, but my dad’s answers, so keep that in mind. You can check out the full 12-minute interview below along with links to my dad’s blog and The Gathering website.
Thank You.
